The INCOME TAX ACT, 1961 says that
AUDIT can only b done by…
Not by chote bhai(CWA),
Not choti behen(CS),
Not kale kottwale(LAWYERS),
Not by Lutte-pitte MBA’S…

For CA Student…
Best T-shirt Quote ever:
“i don’t need a girlfriend..
“my studies irritate me everyday…
that’s enough”
CA mai Allied law
Ladkiyon ki awwwwww
Dono samjh se bahar hai  😛
Imagine an Audit Report: Dear Stakeholders, Financial statements
are responsibility of management… On
the basis of info provided to us we are of
the opinion that Internal Control Kamjor
h, Loan ka jor h, Management Chor h,
Employees Kaam chor h, Creditors ka shor h, Bad Debts more h or hum Auditors
Independent h… Or yahi AAS 4 hai..


CA student ek vichitra praani hota hain.
Yeh jyadatar Institute ke paas paya jaata hain.
Inhe fail honey main mahaarat haasil hoti hain.
Inme padhne ka keeda hota hain,
isiliye yeh metro main,bus stand,park ,gurudware ,library me in short kahi bhi
khalli jagah par padhte hue dekha ja sakta hai.
Inme baat baat par maaro maaro chillane ki
aur party mangane ki aadat hoti hai.
nhe sone se nafrat hoti hai
yeh subha 5 baaje utth te hai aur raat ko 12 baje sothe hai.
Waise toh bharat ke kai rajyon me yeh paaye jaate hai
ITO inka priya milan sthal hai.
Inki kamaai ek chaai waaley se bhi kam hoti hain.
Inke ghar mai AC ho na ho paar class me AC nai hone par
yeh marne maarne pai uttar aate hai.
Inme male prani class me comment pass karna,
seeti bajana ,break break chilana,
ladkiya tarne me bhi samarth paaye jaate hai.
“Inhe apne employer aur ICAI ki buraai karney mein vishesh anand praapt hota hain.”
Two CA’S were getting married, during marriage
ceremony, wife vomits, husband asks the reason
wife says –Profit prior to incorporation.. .AS-5

Typical CA student:
1. Jo samajh me na aaye use out of course
declare kar dena ya option me chhor dena.
2. Har attempt k end me
aelan karna ki agli attempt achhe se padhenge.
3. Padhai karte waqt cell silent par rakhna and
har 5-5 minute me dekhna ki koi msg to nahi
4. Group study k waqt bar bar kehna,
“Chalo ab padhte hai, ab koi
bakwas nahi karega.”
5. Kuch bhi padhne se pehle,
pages count karna.
6. Common dialogue: Kal se
pakka Padhunga…
Q) Wat Is Da Capital Of France?
IN EXAM: Students Write PARIS Is Da
Capital Of France
Laugh): Capital Of France Is “F”.
CONCLUSION: Even If Da Paper
Leaks Student Cannot Pass. Hahaha

Most of the students feel proud because they  took admission in CA                                       moral:- ‘CA’ bs naam hi kaafi hai
 C.A Girl” (vidai k waqt):
Papa roiye mat, meri 1 baat dhyan se suniye,
Tent wale ko, catering wale ko na contract amount pr T.D.S kat k payment kijiyega fir challan ki copy bhijwa dijiega,
return “ye” file kr denge,
nominal si fee lenge aap se to..
Moral :- income ki koi bhi opportunity na chhodo
A Dr.& A CA. luvs D same girl.
Dr.givs her a rose.
bt CA. gvs her apple daily
Dr.ask y?
DR shockd
CA rocked!!
Once a CA got selected in Indian Cricket Team!                                                                    
He raised his bat on scoring 40 runs and again on 60 runs!                                          
Sachin tells him “It’s not a 50 or 100″.
CA says “Tumhe kya pata, ONLY a CA can understand the importance of scoring 40 and 60!!”
Sachin shocked, CA rocked!!
A Newly Qualified C.A. walks into a bank in Mumbai nd asks 4 a 50,000 loan. D bank asks 4 a Security nd d guy hands over d keys nd documents of his BMW which park on d street in front of d bank.. aftr all necessary check d bank agree 2 grant him loan. D bnk president nd al officers enjoy a good “laugh” 4 guy 4 using 1 crore BMW as collateral against a Small Loan. dan d car was…parkd in d banks garage safely.
2 weeks later d guy returs nd repays 50,000 nd d interest which comes to 200.

D loan officer says, Sir v r very happy 2 dis transaction, bt we r a little puzzled. while u were away, we checked out nd found dat u r a”MULTIMILLIONARIE” dan y did u bother 2 borrow 50,000??
Dan d guy replies, wher else in Mumbai can I park my car for 2 weeks for only 200 and expect it to be ther when I return.. thnx 4 apne meri car ko itne pyar se rakha…
CAs ki Shaan me,others dont mind pls..
One ws engineer
One ws doctor
And the third one ws a CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT.:
Before transferin all his property to his sons he put a condition dat all three of dem have 2 keep 5-5 lakh rs wid his grave:-
After his death
Engineer went nd put only 3lakhsiin grave sayin kaun sa pata chalega……
Den doctor came nd put jst 50,000,
An went back…..
Nw it ws d time of C.A he went dere and said i’ll nt do any fraudwid ma father …..
I’lll obey his order as he said
He jst made an a/c payee chequeof rs. 8,50,000 & kept it there and took those rs. 3,50,000 wid him .
Dats wht r C.A’s made for……
Dey dnt do anythin wrong ,
And dnt leave anythin rite……
C.A’s rock!!  
7 reasons why I choose CA.
1) I hate 2 Rest
2) I have already enjoyed life in childhood.
3) I luv tension.
4) I don’t want to spend time with family..
5) I want to take revenge from myself
6) I luv 2 study on Sundays &holidays
7) Pass hone ki khushi bardasht nahi
hoti thi yaar, kasam se..!
Father: Tumhare CA k Result ka kya
Son: Headmster ka beta fail ho
Father: Aur tum…??
Son: Doctor ka beta Bhi fail ho
Father: Aur tumhara result kaisa
Son: Wo Wakeel Ka Beta Bhi fail
Ho gya,
Father: Kamine mai tera puch raha
Son: To Aap konse Rajnikant Ho,
Aapka Beta Bhi Fail Hai.
Different Girls fighting with their
Pilot’s wife:
Zyada udo mat samjhey..!…
Teachr’s wife:
Mujhey mat sikhao…
Ye aap ka School nahi…
Dentist’s wife:
Daant tod k hath me day dungi.
Doctor’s wife:
tabiyat durust kar dungi…
BBA/MBA’s wife:
Mind your own business,..
Engineer wife:
zayda current na maro…
CA’s wife:
Pehlay Pass to ho lo phir baat
karna …. 
Ek Bridge ka Tender nikla.
Ek Madrasi ne kaha 30 lakh mein bridge bana dunga.
Authorities ne puchha kaise??
Woh bola:
10 lakh mere,
10 lakh ka material,
10 lakh labour ke.
CA bola:
90 lakh mein bana dunga!!
 Authorities ne pucha:
Itna mahenga kyun?? 
CA bola:
30 lakh mere,
30 lakh aapke.
Authorities bole:
Aur bridge kaun banayega??
CA bola:
Bridge Madrasi banayega 
CA got the tender…

Full form of Audit..!!
LOVE: Many thoughts in mind but
no guts 2 express it…
… … .
CA Exam: Dying 2 express but no
thoughts in the mind!! :p
Once a CA and Engineer were into an arguement
Engineer got angry and said to CA” I will wrap
you in thermo hydrolite and throw you with a
speed of E=mc2 (square).
CA replied for E=mc2(square), you will require
to have an atomic blast by importing Uranium
and building a nuclear reactor, in your case,
– You don’t have licence to import Uranium
– To Build nuclear reactor u need finance and
you dont have that.
financial instituition in india will provide you
– You don’t have government approval for an
atomic blast,
– by the time the notification for approval of
blast we will be dead already.
= so your threat is good to hear but practically
not feasible and not at all viable when the
provided data is taken into account.
Engineer shocked, CA Rocked…!!
Moral: Don’t ever mess with a CA.
those who do Accounting are known as Accountants…!!
those who do Auditing are known as Auditors…!!
those who do both Accounting n Auditing are known as Articles 
You Know ? why there is no RAGGING in CA
smart answer. kyu ki yaha koi nhi jaanta kab senior
junior ban jaaye or junior senior
Today my frnd asked, where r u going for
valentine day.
i replied
Income tax department….:-D:p
CA students ki koi ni sunta..
Jin – Hukum mere aakka!!
CA student- Mere harsubject mein 100 marks aane chahiye aur mein ICAI ka president ban jau.
Jin- aakka! hukum kro, bakwaas mat karo!!
ICAI President: Guys, I think results of CA FINAL
didn’t scared our students that much
what should we do now!!
I.T Deptt- Don’t worry! We will lift the exemption to
file ITR for salaried persons to increase Articles
work!! Hahahaha
ICAI Member- Lets spread rumour that you’ll have
to score 5% extra marks for passing exams!!
ICAI Member 2: Hey, I’ve a brilliant Idea lets
announce IPCC results on 31st July!
Everyone: You are a Son of devil
Teacher: Osama has 5 wifes and 20 Children,
Laloo has 1 wife and 9 children. Who is better?
CA Student: Osama’s NPV is good but Laloo’s IRR is better

CA on his death bed:
My wife, are you here?
“Yes dear”
My daughter, are you here?
“Yes dad”
My son, are you here?
“Yes dad”
“Yes SIR”
KAMiNO fir OFFICE me kaun hai

Side effect of excess CA study:
A boy went to restaurant.. He wanted to see the
MENU but he forgot what its called and he said
Bring the Module please!
Difference between
normal friend
and c.a frnds
A frnd normally ask to his frnd : or
bhai kya haal h.kya chal raha h. sab
badiya h. enjoy kar raha h.koi nyi gf
A c.a studend ask to his frnd : bhai clas
aa raha h?,koi amendment ayi h,ye
section yad karna h?,ye humare liye
applicable hoga?, ye kaise yad karna
h?,kaunsi buk refer karu?
CA Students ko ku6
aye ya na aye
par 1 chiz zarur ati hai..
Bina OFF button k calculator OFF karke
dedicated songs:
CPT-jalak dikhala ja, 1 bar aaja aaja
PCC/IPCC-Yeh galiyan yeh
chobara,yahan aana na dobara
COCHING-Idhar chala me udhar chala
SYLLABUS-Ajeeb dasta hai ye,kaha
shuru kaha khatam
ARTICAL training-Aa khushi se
khudkushi karle
FINAL- Musafir hu main yaro
ICAI- Q paisa-paisa karti hai,tu paise
pe q marti hai
EXAM-Zehrili raate, ninde ud jati hai
RESULT-jane kya hoga rama re,jane
kya hoga mola re
PASS-aaj me upar asmaan niche
FAIL-Jag suna suna lage ;(;
CA Student’s True Fact:
Tadpati mohabbat ka bas itna
fasaana hai,
Girlfriend ghar pe akeli hai par……….
Hume to Articleship pe jana
Ye Saala CA me registeration Kab
Hota Hai ??
… … …..
Answer : Jab Time Kharab Chal Raha
Raahu, Ketu Or Shani Ki Dasha Kharab
Aapka Mangal kamjor Ho
Bhagwan Bhi full Maje Lene Ke Mood
mein ho
Collector bante hai jo IAS padhte hai,
Doctor bante hai jo MBBS padhte hai,
Lawyer bante hai jo LLB padhte hai,
Engineer bante hai jo BE padhte hai,
In sab ke BAAP bante hai jo “ICAI” me
Padhte hai….
A shy young guy goes 2 bar & sees a beautiful gal sitting alone.He gathers some courage,goes 2 her table & asks “Would u mind if i sit here”She resonded loudly’”no, i dnt wanna spend nite with u”everyone at the bar turns & stares at d guy.Young guy shocked & embarresed,goes back 2 his table.After few min. the gal apologized & said”SEE i m a student of psycology & studying how people respond in embarrassing situation”guy rspnded loudly”Rs. 3000, that’s 2 much”.Everyone stares at d gal.guy silently say”le panga cmrce k student se

Banner in front of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of India ….
“Drive slowly, don’t kill our students…. . leave them to us….”
CA gaali de to kya dega?
BLOODY bounced cheque,
Dharti pe liability,
Paidaishi bad debts,
Dishonoured bill,
Insolvent aadmi,
Itna marunga ki balance nahi bachega.
difference between n ca:- ques:- What is ur name??? (10 marks)
ca ques:- what is ur name? does it suits ur personality?? Analyse critically. (2 marks)
Santa:I read in newspaper tht a widower with 9kids married a widow with 7kids
Banta:dat’s nt a mariage, thts an amalgamation in d nature of MERGER
Q: Difference between gud CA & great CA?
Ans: A good CA knows the IT Act but a great CA knows the Income Tax Officer…. :p
Swarg ke dwar par 3 log the. 
God”Sirf ek hi andar ja sakta hai.
Pehla~”Main pujari hu,sari umar apki seva ki hai, swarg par mera hi haq h.
Dusra”Main ek,sari umar logo ki seva ki hai. Swarg par toh mera hi haq hai
Tisra-“Maine CA KI PADHAI KI HAI.”
God-“kuch mat bol mere bhai,rulaega kya? sari JAWANI tu narak me raha h. Swarg par tera hi haq hai.”
DedicateD to all CA students.
If Gandhiji would have ever thought about doing.. “c.a.”!!!!:- . . He would have definitely added a 4th monkey wid hands on its forehead… ;-( :-O 😛
what is 143?
MBA student” I love you
Engn student :I hate you
Bio student: I miss you
CA student:its a scrutiny assessment section under income tax 1961

Why is it that in all marriages the bride sits on the left side and the groom on the right ?”
reply – “Have u ever seen a Profit & Loss Statement ? It follows the same logic – all income is posted on the right and expenses are on the left ! “
We had many options to end our life
Poison, Sleeping pills, Hanging,
Jump from building, Sleep under a train..
But we choose the bravest… Education (CA).
PE-I-Alpenlibe- Ji lalchaye raha na jaye.
PE-II-Mentos- Dimag ki batti jala de.
ARTICLES-Kinetic- Sabki hawa nikal de.
FINAL-Chlormint- Dubara mat poochna.
Aansu aa jate hai aankho me rone se pehle,
Har khawab tut jata hai sone se pehle,
Kya hai CA ye to samajh gaye,
Kash koi rok leta admission hone se pehle…..
Are you-
Emotionally Numb?
Romantically Starved?
Creatively Challenged?
Artistically Void?
Socially Outcast?
Congratulations….. You are a CA Student!!
A-accounting and others
D-data and
T-to give an
O-opinion in
R-the audit report…
Irritating audits, Fighting on stupid issues, Everyday classes, Dangerous boss, More expenditure, Less stipend, People call it ARTICLE-SHIP, We call it LIFE.


My wife, are you here?
“Yes dear”
My daughter, are you here?
“Yes dad”
My son, are you here?
“Yes dad”
“Yes SIR”
KAMiNO fir OFFICE me kaun hai.
Upcoming horror movies in CA:
-Boss bana shaitan
-Tadapta article
-Khatarnak syllabus
-B.L. ka badla
-2nd group ki pyas
-Khooni result
-Wo aakhri attempt
Child: Who’s that man & woman who come every night and disappear in the morning???
Grand Mom : Thank God finally you saw them. They are your parents…… Both are “Chartered Accountants”.
Two friends died. One a CA and another a Doctor. They reached Yamaloka.
Yamraj: You both have committed same sins and both seems to have same merits. So doctor will get 5 year in hell and CA 1.5 years hell term.
Doctor asked Yama : Why I got 3.5 years more when our sins are equal
Yamraj : CA has already served 3.5 yr hell in articleship. So he got less term.